Hilarious
by Insanity Drives
Summary: Hilarious. Hilarious indeed. Edward Elric finds the serious situation utterly hilarious.


**Hilarious**

_He finds this situation utterly hilarious.

* * *

_"I apologize, Sir, I didn't mean to intrude…"

I glanced up, yanking a bit on my glove a bit, uncrossing my legs. "It's just me." I deadpanned, crossing my arms behind my head and tipping the chair back.

She shifted slightly. "Edward…" She paused slightly before continuing. "I'm sorry for worrying you and everyone else earlier…"

I scoffed. "Worried? I'm not worried—I wasn't worried."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "You didn't come to dinner."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't particularly like sea-food."

Haruhi rose an eyebrow. "There… was other stuff there."

I shrugged. "I wasn't hungry, then. I'll give you three more excuses if you want." I stood and strode toward the side of the room, she followed. "Thank you, by the way, for saving the other girls—even though I still got thrown into the water."

I leaned against the wall, my hand on the switch that dimmed the lights. "You know, I have a way of life—equal trade."

She furrowed her eyebrows again. "You want me to pay you back?"

I slid the switch down rather suddenly, the only light now being from the moon outside.

The girl glanced around the room, confused. "Why'd you turn the lights off?"

I almost broke the act by laughing, she was so _oblivious_!

I reached my left hand out to snatch her forearm. "There are other ways to pay a man back."

Seconds later I was straddling her—I don't know if it was a bad sign that I found this all particularly humorous or not.

She blinked up at me with doe-like eyes, an eyebrow still raised.

"You know, girls as a whole aren't weak by any means. Though, that of this… place tend to be more… fragile then the ones back home. I think most men would take advantage of that—don't you?" I cocked my head, giving my best smirk.

"You wouldn't do that—"

"How do you know that? I'm a complete stranger to you—anything up until now might be a complete lie," I stroked my left thumb over her shoulder. "I'm a very good liar, Haruhi." I paused before moving my gloved right hand down to stroke along her thigh as lightly as possible. "Gender does matter, you know. Biologically, it's how nature works. Men are supposed to be '_stronger_' than women, naturally, though this isn't the case. Though, Fujioka, I'd come to the conclusion easily that most men would be able to over-power you." I paused to eye her arms skeptically. "It's not the gender, it's the person, but either way you were out numbered—and in this case, out-matched. You're right, though, I'm not that kind of person—"

The door clicked as the handle turned and I heard a familiar, obnoxious voice break the near-silence of the room. "Ed, have you seen Haruh—"

I raised an eyebrow at the blond staring wide-eyed at me before pulling myself into a sitting position between the brunette's legs. "Yep, I have—this one?" I pointed at the female with my left hand, head cocked. For experimental reasons, my hand was still laid on her thigh gently.

"You bastard!" Suoh's face contorted quickly as he threw the door open and strode into the room. I pulled my Automail hand away and leaned back on my palms, throwing my right leg over the left. I gave a Cheshire grin and glanced at Haruhi, who'd also sat up, seeming shocked as the violet-eyed boy's right hand connected with my jaw.

I'd experienced worse pain, and hardly moved at the strike.

"I'd have to say you picked a convenient time to come in." I fell back, my gaze flicking toward Haruhi. "Bummer."

She shot me a look I often got from Al and Winry. 'What the hell are you doing?'

I grinned, sitting up and wrapping my arms around my stomach, falling to the side off the edge of the bed and _laughing my ass off._ "Holy—you people are _great_. Your reactions, your interpretations, your…" I got to my feet unsteadily. "Relax, idiot, I wasn't really doing anything to your girl. Just teaching her a lesson." I waved my hand as I walked toward the door. "Truth, you guys are still hilarious—talk it out, see you later. I'll go sleep under the dining-room table or some shit."

**A / N : **_Oh god, it's so short. xD_

_Anyway, this is my first fanfic- and it's kind of short- no. It's _**really** _short. EDWARD short._

_["HEY, WHO YOU CALLIN' A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?"]_

_Oooh shit... Well, see you later guys, gotta run for my life right now.  
_


End file.
